Saturday, November 10, 2007

I Nearly Killed My Wife

Okay folks, I've been told I do some crazy stuff when I'm asleep..such as waking myself up laughing uncontrollably about one of two things: a dream I've had of either my brother Trent, or my brother in law Josh. Just for the record, these are two of the funniest guys on the planet. Probably the funniest thing that has happened while I was sleeping was the time that I scared the crap out of my wife, Trina. Actually, I had just woke up in the middle of the night, just like all of us do from time to time. I opened my eyes, and I could see my wife's beautiful face lying right in front of me. Awww, how sweet, I thought.. and then she opened her eyes. I didn't say anything. I didn't move. And then came the scream... a scream that she let out that nearly made me pee my pants. I guess when she woke up, she saw me there with my eyes opened and thought I was dead or something. Looking back now, it was pretty halarious, although at the moment, it definitely was not. There were tears and everything. Not from me, mind you, but her.
So anyways, a couple nights ago, I was having this dream. There were these college guys picking on someone, and me being the daring and resourceful Jack Bauer that I am (remember, this is a dream), decided to end this destructive conflict and restore order to the galaxy. I told these young fellows to come and pick on someone their own size, and they happily obliged. So in my dream, I decided to use the quickest, most effective blow that any normal federal agent would use...I was going directly for the throat, Ralph Machhio style. Mr. Miagi would've been pleased.. but the thing is, I sometimes really get animated when I'm dreaming, and I really did let loose with a real life swing. I felt my arm moving...I felt my fist land on something soft..and i immediately woke up, and I was no longer Jack Bauer (cool guy), but just plain old Mike who was very afraid that he'd just punched the daylights out of his unsuspecting wife. At this point in the story, I have to tell you that the Lord is very kind to me, because my hand landed on Trina's pillow about 2 inches above her head. And to top it all off, she didn't even flinch! So I guess I really need to back off a little on my 24 watching. Jack Bauer is cool and all, but I'm really not wanting to have to sleep on the couch.
Mike

2 comments:

Bdub said...

hey if we ever go camping, bring your own tent! hehe.

Catrina said...

This man I'm married to...he is a funny man.

But considering I just had three wisdom teeth cut out, a punch to the face would not have been....well, lets just say, sleeping on the couch wouldn't have been an option. Sleeping in the van maybe....down by the river!

Thanks for not punching me in the face, Jack! :)